On openness

My massage practice is still young, still growing, and has not yet reached the point of sustainability where it covers all the costs it needs to. Every new customer, every appointment, is a cause for celebration, a step on the road to "making it". So you would think that when one morning a regular client asked me if I could massage her later, I would have wholeheartedly and unfalteringly answered YES. And yet – I didn't; I hesitated.

It wasn't because I was too busy. It wasn't because I wasn't sure how to treat this client, or that I didn't want to treat her. It was because I wasn't prepared. I had only taken what I needed for the clients I knew about, that were booked in. For the want of a few towels, I nearly turned down a loyal client who needed a massage, and nearly turned down that income.

In the end we muddled through and I did the treatment. But how unsatisfactory. I want to expand, to welcome more clients onto my massage table, and yet when they come I am reduced to "muddling through". I was sending a negative, self-defeating message to the Universe. "Don't give me work, I can't handle it."

At the core, this is a question of openness. Despite my intellectual goal to have more clients, I wasn't open to getting them. As I started to think about it, I realised that this applied beyond the immediate situation. How many ambitions am I undermining by not being open to having them fulfilled? How powerful might it be to open myself to the possibilities waiting around the next corner?

So I intend to learn from the lesson given to me. Of course, I now carry extra towels, and everything else I need to welcome those last minute clients. And I'm trying to cultivate an approach of openness, to notice where my actions do not support my goals (and change them) and be more receptive to what may come to me, however unexpected.

Yesterday, a new client rang to ask for an immediate appointment. I had a gap in my schedule and saw her straight away, with no hesitation.

What inadvertent barriers do you create? How could you be more open to receiving your dreams?